Let’s Talk Mental Health: Pharmacy Students' Stories
As an Association, we believe that the mental health of pharmacists, pre-registration trainees, and students is of the utmost importance. We are therefore asking our members to share their stories around mental health in the hope that we can encourage us all to speak out and support each other and lobby the government to invest more in the mental wellbeing of pharmacists and pharmacy students.
You are welcome to share your story anonymously. Please follow this link to share your story with us.
This publication will focus on some responses we have received thus far regarding the impact of various factors and life events on pharmacy students' mental health as well as tips, which we are sharing to shed a light on the challenges facing pharmacy students today, and highlight what support is out there for us.
There are five stories shared within this publication:
1. Impacts of perfectionism
2. Dealing with loss
3. The weight of additional responsibilities
4. Putting mental health first: effects of an eating disorder
5. Seeking support
1. Impacts of perfectionism
My dad left when I was young which had a massive effect on my mental health, self-worth, and everything really. This means that I am a bit of a perfectionist, but I also get imposter syndrome and feel unworthy of anything. It also means I feel super alone and like anyone can leave me at any moment. I had private counselling when I was younger but have not been able to access services since.
I find it very difficult to even begin studying because I am such a perfectionist, so I hate if things aren’t fully complete and done to the best of my abilities. I also hate letting people down because I fear they will want to leave me so it can be hard to prioritise my time and spend time on my studies. I also do not enjoy going out etc which means a lot of the time I have been isolated and left at home. I feel like I do not fit in anywhere and I am never really surrounded by people that want me there, this includes at uni, in labs etc. I’ve also found that when I go through tough times with my mental health, it’s really difficult to find the motivation to study. But we have too much work so then it spirals because it adds up so quickly. It is hard to have days off for self-care and to recharge because we constantly have so much to do. I find I beat myself up for even having an afternoon or an evening off.
TIPS: You do not need to be perfect to be a pharmacist - your degree counts no matter what. Your mental health comes first.
2. Dealing with loss
So just before starting university my mum passed away. This came at such a terrible time in my life I didn’t want to even go to uni or leave my family at home, but they all pushed me to do so. It has impacted my study ethic and wellbeing so much some days I just sit in my room all day, especially as we are in lockdown and I’m in student halls so it gets really lonely being by myself. My flatmates have helped a lot as they always encourage me to hang out and do things together which brightens up my mood a lot.
I’ve had so much help financially and lots of support from my family and friends. There are not many people I like telling my feelings to, so it’s really a struggle for me and it’s something I regret.
It has impacted my studies majorly I pretend like I’m doing fine whereas really, I’m struggling and am falling behind greatly. Especially going home for Christmas, I have had extra duties like cooking and cleaning for my dad as I like to help him out and doing all these little jobs has distracted me from my studies.
TIPS: I suggest talking to people, it’s something I didn’t/ haven’t done. I wish I would have told people as soon as I started uni to see what help I can get. Don’t be like me and not tell anybody as it will just eat away at you until you break.
3. The weight of additional responsibilities
A close family member of mine has been diagnosed with mental health illness and from then on I have been her carer. It is very difficult to combine studying and being a carer due to the fact that all your energy physically and emotionally is drained. In addition, due to this situation and lockdown my mental health deteriorated which resulted in anxiety disorder. Therapy sessions were not enough so medication was given to me, so it took me some time to re-adjust to my new lifestyle. Those who do not experience this as carers can find it difficult for them to understand the situation. More knowledge and support should be given to carers and their families as medications do have a lot of side effects that could result in potential mental health deterioration of carers.
I have received support from university but not from the government. It has been difficult for me to study and concentrate thus I failed my exams.
TIPS: Do not hesitate to ask for help from others, explain your situation. It is not something that we should be ashamed of, it’s something that we should embrace, because by expressing yourself it makes you brave and may eliminate symptoms that might led to further mental health deterioration.
4. Putting mental health first: effects of an eating disorder
I had to defer entry to university because I had an eating disorder, and this meant that I wasn't physically or mentally well enough to move away from home. This felt like a huge set back after working so hard to get good A-Levels so that I could go to university! However, the year out was such a great opportunity to focus on my mental wellbeing and I started the university the next year in a much better place. This isn't to say that I don't still struggle, but I would be struggling a lot more if I didn't put my mental health first a few years ago! I haven't received any support from the university - but in fairness I haven't asked for any! I feel as though if things got tough that there are people in the department who could support me and point me in the right direction. I have received treatment though from a wonderful eating disorder unit.
It has made some of the hard times harder for sure. However, it has made me more determined to be able to support other people who are struggling and have struggled. It has also made me much more passionate about improving and extending the teaching on supporting patient’s mental health struggles within the pharmacy course.
TIPS: If there is any lecture or topic which you feel could be triggering - just take a look at it first! Have a quick flick through the slides and if it’s something that is going to be hard, then do what's best for you. I tend to not go to those lectures (there have only been 1 or 2 in fairness!) and to watch them from home when I am at my most comfortable.
5. Seeking support
I have struggled with my mental health for a while now. When I was 11, I started experiencing symptoms of narcolepsy. Whilst narcolepsy is not a mental illness in and of itself, it definitely affected my mental and emotional health. When I got to university, my symptoms became worse and began affecting my education and my social life. I was falling asleep in lectures and at parties; it seemed like I slept most of my university experience away. I felt overwhelmed, lonely, and increasingly hopeless about my future - am I cut out for this? Do I have what it takes to be a pharmacist? Should I just give up my friends, my degree, my life? Thoughts such as these filled my mind regularly. In my second year, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety - I had an inkling I was depressed, but I thought I was just being dramatic.
I am grateful for the people around me who let me know that these thoughts were concerning, and that I should seek professional help. I approached my GP and my personal tutor who helped me find support. I attended therapy and began taking antidepressants. By telling my personal tutor, I was able to request extra support regarding my degree e.g. deadline extensions.
My poor mental health meant I was unmotivated and apathetic in my approach to my education. On days where I did manage to drag myself out of bed, I’d sit in my lectures and not listen to a word that was said. I didn’t catch up when I got home, which put me in a horrible position when exam season came around. In addition, my anxiety convinced me I was alone in my struggles and I shouldn’t bother anyone with my burdens. I didn’t bother asking for help from my course mates or lecturers for a very long time, further exaggerating my loneliness.
TIPS: Talk to someone - anyone. It’s easier said than done but sharing your feelings with others helps you realise that 1) you’re not alone and 2) help is within reach! If you fear what your friends and family might say, there are loads of anonymous helplines available. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you shouldn’t feel bad for feeling them - but you are in control of how you respond to them.
